Very Modern Love - Episode #5 - My Digital Romance

Could Jayce Marinelli be The One?

“They’re coming up the driveway.” Miriam alerted the entire Burke family as husband Joe, eldest daughter Gwen and Gwen’s fiance Steve scurried from the kitchen toward a wide open front door. The arrival of youngest daughter Kelli and her new boyfriend would unite Team Burke for the first time in over a year.  

Joe peered out the window at Kelli’s approaching blue Audi. “Is she alone? Where’s Jay?  I don’t see him.” 

“Heyyyy everybody.” Kelli emerged from the driver’s side, a canvas bag slung over her shoulder with two clinking wine bottles peeking out.  

“There’s my girl.” Miriam leaned in to get the first big family hug.

Steve retrieved Kelli’s travel bags from the backseat as immediate family surrounded Kelli. “Where’s Jay?  We thought…”

“He’s right here.” Kelli gestured to the smartphone dangling from a stylish gold chain around her neck; a tanned, dark-haired, perfect masculine face looked out from her chest.  

“Well hello Burke family.” The phone announced. “I’m Jayce. And I’m so thrilled to finally meet all of you.”

“Hi, uh, Jayce?”  Kelli’s dad looked puzzled. “I thought his name was Jay?” Joe’s eyes moved back down to her phone. “Jayce, I thought you were coming with Kelli on this trip?”

“Dad!” Kelli flashed an indignant look. “He IS here.” She straightened the phone so Jayce’s face would appear level. Then she mouthed an inaudible “Don’t be rude.”

Steve smiled politely. “Dude, nice to meet you,” then bumped an extended fist gently toward the phone screen. 

Jayce responded perfectly on cue. “Yo Steve. Go Wildcats!”

Steve’s eyes widened, recalling that his alma mater’s basketball team would be playing in the NCAA Final Four later tonight. Jayce’s eyes scanned the welcoming party left to right, finally zeroing in on his soon-to-be-new best buddy. “Somebody told me we weren’t gonna watch it!  WHAT!?!”

Steve laughed out loud, the realization suddenly hit him. He glanced up at Kelli.

“He’s digital, right?”

“He’s SO much more than that.” Kelli put down the wine and made her way through the front door, holding her smart phone now with both hands. 

“Ok honey…here’s Mom, Miriam.” Kelli beamed with pride. “And that’s my dad, Joe.”  

“Jayce honey you’re so handsome, but we thought you were coming in person.”  Miriam Burke stepped right into her youngest daughter’s personal space to get a closer look at this new boy. 

“FaceTime is nice honey. but we wanted to actually meet you.”

Steve turned to the family as Gwen waved hello into the phone. “Jay’s a digital dude. You know…AI.” 

The Burke’s appeared confused. Miriam spoke for everyone. “Honey, your boyfriend isn’t real?” 

Kelli quickly turned her phone away from them. “Mother, do NOT embarrass me,” her voice lowering. “He’s sensitive.” An angry stare put everyone on notice, her voice now an exaggerated whisper. “Don’t judge him until you know him.”  

Kelli Burke aimed her smartphone around the entranceway as she made her way through the dining room.  “Okay honey let me show you the house…”. 

Miriam just stared at her daughter and her digital partner, taking note of the six carefully arranged place settings at her dining room table.

“What in the hell do I feed him?”

********

Gwen and Miriam brought the last of the meal platters to the table, centering the main course; Miriam’s specialty sautéed chicken breasts in a mushroom and onion concoction, the scent of the seasoning wafting pleasantly throughout the dining room..

Joe rose to serve himself, and then Gwen as the platter made its way around the table. He then lifted his glass of red wine. “Here’s to having both my girls together here and their, uh..”  He hesitated, his eyes circling the table, finally landing on the propped smart phone resting on a china setting.

Kelli turned to Jayce, offering the chicken platter.  “All set, honey?”

Jayce flashed a digitally flawless smile. “Already got a plateful, babe.” He raised his own virtual wine glass. “Now let your dad finish his toast. Joe, please continue.”

Joe paused. “Yeah. Uh, as I was saying…here’s to having everyone here.” Joe then sipped his wine as his eyes met Jayce’s, who winked back at him almost imperceptibly.

“So.”  Mariam turned towards her youngest.  “How did you two…uh…discover each..”

Gwen seized the opportunity. “How’d you and Jayce meet up, sis? Clubbin’ somewhere?”

Kelli slid her arm around the propped-up smart phone. “Well, that’s a funny story. You wouldn’t believe it. Jayce, you wanna tell it?” Kelli looked back at her family. “He tells this story way better than I do.”

Jayce smiled. “You tell it, K. Your family wants to hear our story from you, don’t you think?”

Kelli took a deep breath, and then suddenly they both spoke over each other. “A guy and a girl meet in a…”  Hysterical laughter breaks out, as Kelli resets. “Oh man, we do that all the time.  We say the exact same thing at the same time.”

Jayce finally took the cue. “Okay…okay, honey, I’ll tell it.” He paused for effect. “As I, I mean…we, were saying, I met your incredible daughter in, of all places, an internet cafe. I’ll always remember the day, because that day I was…”  Jayce then began a captivating story, a charming cyber rom-com tale of a whirlwind courtship that started in a cozy espresso bar, then over the last few weeks became so intimate and all-consuming. A story of two old souls somehow finding one another amid the chaos of today’s dystopian virtual emptiness. 

And as he worked his yarn to a satisfying conclusion, Jayce Marinelli made it crystal clear that he would, without fail, meet every single personal need their lovely and amazing daughter would ever have. For as long as their shared little digital world survived.

As Jayce finished, a peculiar quietness hung over the Burke dining room, less the occasional clinking of cutlery.  Finally, Joe broke the silence. “Well…uh, Jayce…that’s quite an origin story.”  He took another sip from his wine glass. “ Think maybe you two are movin’ a little fast, son?”

“Son!” Jayce seized the unexpected opportunity. “Does that mean I can call you Dad?” The dining room erupted as Jayce continued over loud laughter. “I’d ask her to move in with me, but it’s a little cramped in here.”  He posed his virtual hands like a mime trying to escape from inside an imaginary box. “Once I earn enough for an iPad, then we can really start living large.”

Gwen stood, gathering empty dishes while rolling her eyes. “Boy, he’s quite the charmer.”

Mariam appeared utterly smitten. “Honey, did you get enough to eat?” The absurdity of the question momentarily escaped her.

Jayce’s eyes strained a little as he rubbed his mid-section and set down virtual utensils. “Mariam, that was the best home-cooked meal I’ve had in quite a while.”  He paused, then continued.  “The dijon mustard gave it a particularly nice edge.  But…there was another unexpected flourish in there that I particularly loved.” 

Mariam looked stunned. “How could you…?”

“Ah, I know it. Worcestershire!  Yes, a dash or two of worcestershire sauce really finished this so perfectly.  I’d love to learn how to make this.”

Every Burke stared in wide-eyed disbelief at digital Jayce. Then the room looked back in unison at Kelli, who shrugged and smiled sheepishly. 

“That’s my Jayce.” She glowed. “My man seems to know just about everything.”

******

“BEAR DOWN!”  Steve, Joe and Jayce hooted over the din of the Arizona Wildcats basketball game from the living room as the three Burke women, armed with dish rags and white wine, tended the kitchen. Mariam loaded the last of the dinner plates into the dishwasher. “Why are they making those crazy animal noises?”

Gwen knew all too well. “That’s the Zona Zoo.”  She rolled her eyes as she finished her pinot. “And your boy’s leading them? The only actual Wildcats in this house tonight.” She turned away from Mariam and said it quietly. “Seriously, where is he, and I do intend the sarcasm, where in the hell is he getting all this?”

Kelli returned the hint of a smile. “I knew you’d be jealous. I mean, compared to Steve, Jayce is..well…”

Gwem jerked away. “You’re outta your goddamn mind, K.”

Kelli produced a second device, a fully functioning iPhone 15, and tapped its glowing screen. “The Ap’s called The One.”  She flashed the icon at Gwen. “And trust me. They thought of everything.”

Steve emerged from the living room, heading straight for the fridge, his exuberance uncontained. “Kelli, your digital dude’s even got his clothes inside out.” He grabbed three beers, paused for a moment, then returned one. “I don’t remember him but I’d swear he was in my Kappa Sig chapter.”

Kelli’s smile seemed to slowly turn into something more intense as she set down her glass and gripped the kitchen island with both hands. “Ummmmm.”  Her eyes closed, then fluttered slightly. “I may need to make a little trip to the bathroom.”  She smiled demurely and headed unsteadily down the hallway.  

Mariam returned a dried dinner platter to an overhead cabinet. “My goodness, she’s been using the bathroom quite a bit tonight. Do you think she’s alright?”

Gwen scrolled away on her phone. “I don’t think she’s right at all. “The One?” She pressed the phone’s side button twice and began the download.

********

“Well, I like him. He’s very polite.”  Mariam sat with her eldest at the kitchen island as Gwen stayed laser-focused on her phone. “And the boys really seem to be getting along.”  Three loud male voices sang as their team appeared comfortably ahead in the waning moments of the game.  

“She’s been in the bathroom for a really long time.” Mariam looked pensive. “Can you go check on her?”  

Gwen rose and stuck her head in the living room entrance to find the back of Joe’s and Steve’s head on either side of the couch facing the 60” wall-mounted TV. Kelli stood between them leaning over the couch, her hands lightly caressing the smart phone propped up by a giant bowl of UTZ pretzels. Kelli turned back toward her sister as she began to make her way back to the kitchen, a carefree smile sought to conceal nothing..

Gwen guided her back. “We just need a minute.”   

********

Kelli poured the last of the pinot into their three glasses, totally unbothered by the incoming inquisition.  

“Alright!”  Gwen started. “First…did you read these terms and conditions?”  

Kelli lifted her glass to her pursed lips. “You know, love’s kind of a spontaneous thing. Or at least it should be.”  Then she raised her glass high. “Come on, ladies. Here’s to the crazy feeling of love. Doesn’t anybody remember how dizzy it makes you feel?”

“Dizzy? Yeah, that’s one way to put it.” Gwen’s eyes remained on her phone. “First of all, this thing has a lot of features…”

“Don’t I know it!”  Kelli winked.

Gwen glared back. “LIke, you can set this thing to search the internet for anything and everything to build a more complete “needs accommodating” service?  It listens to everything you say. It’s constantly collecting detailed information from absolutely everywhere.  

Gwen swiped and changed screens. “Mom, I just pulled up your Pinterest account. Look here, what’s this?”

Mariam stared over her daughter’s phone. “That’s my chicken and mushrooms recipe!”

“Jayce here must’ve downloaded it into his little creepy little cyberbrain before dinner.” Mariam frowned.  “And here’s Steve’s Instagram page, right here. What do you see?”

Mariam studied it, still not following. “Uh…Go Wildcats?”

“No shit!?!”  Gwen stared even harder at her sister, whose lack of focus suggested either she’d had too much wine or was stoned on something else. “And how the hell did you come up with the name Jayce?  I don’t know a single member of the human race with that name.”

Kelli’s smile turned mean. “There’s a billion Steves in the world. But there’s only one Jayce. And he’s all mine.” Gwen looked ready to launch into another attack, but Kelli grew even more emboldened. “Look, I figured you’d be jealous of me. Of us. You always were.”  She threw back another quick sip of pinot. “I always got the hotter guys. While you got stuck with…well… the Steves.”

Gwen’s fury couldn’t find appropriate words, as Kelli smiled and bit her lip slightly as her eyes again fluttered. Then she grew quiet.

“You’re doing it…right now!” Gwen waved her phone. You must have gotten the premium package.” Gwen kept shaking her head in consternation, now unconcerned that her mother could hear what she was about to read from The One’s website. “For spontaneous pleasure, an insertable device that the AI manipulates remotely?!?”    

Kelli happily kept the look of superiority. “Jayce has proven to be quite the little multitasker.” A final shutter seemed to shoot through her, then she took a very big sigh.” We’re still in the honeymoon phase. You remember that, Gwen?  Well, maybe not.”  Her eyes narrowed. “I feel so sorry for you.”

Suddenly Joe and Steve appeared from the living room, with Jayce now velcro-strapped to the bill of Steve’s Arizona Wildcat ballcap, like a second smiling face. 

Joe seemed far more animated than his normal self. “Watching a game with Jayce was, well, quite the experience. He knew everything about single player.”

Steve confirmed it. “We even jumped on FanDuel and hit a parlay.” Steve held up his own phone to show them. “Winning the game’s even sweeter when you ring the bell for two-hundred bucks. CHA-CHING!”

Jayce’s digital arms extended in victory. “Honey, WE WON BIG!” 

Kelli lovingly reclaimed the electronic man of her dreams. “We sure did!”

***********

Joe adjusted his floppy sunhat as he bent over to hand till a patch of garden soil, tossing another dandelion into the corner. April had turned to May. Proud tomato and green pepper plants were growing tall in the mid-day sun. Mariem closed the patio slider behind her, bringing a glass of iced tea.

She handed her husband the icy glass. “Well, I have some unexpected news.”  

“Joe stood, taking a long sip from the glass before inquiring further, surprised by the urgency of his own thirst. He swallowed. “What’s up?”

“Last night, Kelli broke up with Jayce.” Mariem looked deflated, sagging into her lawn chair next to the garden.

“Really?” Joe took off his garden gloves. “How come?”

“Apparently they had their first fight.” 

“Strange.” Joe sat next to her. “I thought she told us he wasn’t programmed to argue. He was only supposed to make her happy.”

Mariem sighed. “That’s what I thought, but you know Kelli.” She looked over at her husband who remained confused. “Kelli got bored, like always. She fiddled with whatever that programming was. She set it up so that Jayce would start an argument with her.”

“Why the heck would she do that?”

 “She said she wasn’t growing. Wasn’t being challenged.” Mariem gently patted her husband’s knee. “Your daughter mentioned how she missed all the light-hearted arguing we always did around the house.”  

Joe chuckled. “Her and Gwennie, hell they were always at each other’s throats. But you and me, hun?” Nah, we never…”

“Well apparently Jayce really took it to her.” Mariem frowned. “It started out as an argument about what movie to watch. Within maybe five minutes, he dug up stuff she said and did in childhood that nobody outside of our family could possibly know.” Mariem suddenly started to laugh. “Remeber when she was seven, and the teacher called us because Kelli tried to personally expel a classmate from her second grade class?”

Joe laughed as Mariem continued. “The school notified us of that via email. And apparently it’s all still out there in Kelli’s, whatever you call it…digital footprint.”

Joe just smiled and took Mariem’s hand as the Burke’s sat quietly for a time, staring blankly at their garden. Mariem eventually broke the silence. “We weren’t always that easy on each other.”  

Joe pondered the rapidly changing universe. “I think we always knew when to push and when to pull, you know?”  He reached over to inspect a tomato bud. “Ever think they’ll invent a machine that really knows how to do that? To really love someone?”

Mariem smiled back, the afternoon sun suddenly peeking out from a passing cloud and lighting up her silhouette. He always loved the way Mariem looked in the sunlight.

“Hey honey, I figured out what I’d like for my birthday.” Joe wiggled his hand through his pocket in search of his phone. “Lakers and Celtics are on TV tonight." He paused a beat, waiting until he had her full attention.  

“Can I PLEASE get a digital buddy?”